Hey Lover,
i’m sitting here, bunny on lap, feeling the desire to write. when I sat down a few days ago, I didn’t know if I could actually tie this together to something that would make sense, with so many aspects that seemed to be scattered. scattered like the bunny fur on my keyboard, flying around from the inevitability of changing seasons. shedding skins, physically. gently snoring. Schmuck sure knows how to relax, do you? letting go of tensing the muscles and nerves in your body. shedding skins, mentally, emotionally.
and then I noticed, this actually is, what this letter is about: fragments of a piece making up a whole. a story about interconnectedness, about connecting the dots and about the qualities of zooming in and out of the piece of art, the canvas of creativity, of creation, we call life. zooming in to obsess, zooming out to observe, a choice we have, always, and a concept I came along the lines of Rick Rubin’s book, lines on equanimity.
i stumbled across “equanimity” so many times this month that I cannot not talk about it here. I met it first in Rick Rubins book, then again in Young Pueblos newsletter and again in a small book about Love, my friend brought to the picnic I hosted for the venusianpleasures_ community.
Equanimity is about balance, observation, vision and non-attachment. about keeping a certain distance and non-engagement with what’s happening. according to my sources, it’s a building block to deep love and a happy life. as i’m writing, a question pops up in my mind .. one I’m not hearing for the first time: “If I’m not attached to the outcome, If I don’t have any interest in what happens next, how do I stay motivated, how do I tap into self-responsibility?”
and as I write, per usual, as I slow my mental fluidity down into physical form, by typing it out, the answer spills forth: “the outcome is not the outcome" - your experience is just a fragment, not the whole thing. zooming out. and with the ever accumulating act of fragments, of pieces, that make up the art work, the life, self-responsibility and motivation is almost inevitable, because you can always go on. the outcome is not the outcome, it’s just a stroke of paint. as you keep on painting, you add layers, colors, strokes and splashes. you choose the colors, the lines, the brushes. if you’re only given blue and red, you know how to paint in endless shades of yellow. a never-ending process of understanding how to zoom in and alter the details of my life to make a whole that is serving me, expressing me, in a way I yearn to be expressed and received. true and authentic. probably indigo blue with a dash of purple. and silver, I really dig silver.
the fragments that made up my month of April were about learning (about gum health), leaning (into the unknown), and (re)lentlessly holding the vision of what feels true and authentic to me.
I learned that eating gum with Xylitol after eating helps your teeth to get rid of excess acidity and back into their natural state of alkalinity. I learned that nurturing the soil of your gums will let your teeth stand stronger, (duh - so obvs) and I learned more about the body mind connection, as my dentist explained that stress can cause acidity in the body, which will then cause the body to search for alkaline minerals to balance it out and if they can’t be found in a rich amount in your foods, the body might as well take them from your teeth - it showed me how important it is to balance and budget my mental energy, to stay healthy, it proved me the somatic power of our mind body interrelation and the need for staying responsible and curious, to ask questions, seek answers and keep on pushing. that, for me, is responsibility. not getting off track from a fragment of experience, but taking it in and keeping course. that for me, is equanimity.
until you’re last stroke, of bristles, of breath, you paint. Remembering you’ll create with what’s in your hands and stop wasting time trying to grasp whatever is not.
Not everything is your fault, yet you can respond in a way that makes you the master of your canvas. the creator of what happens next. you can act responsibly. and some things are out of your hands, like the time you’ll have for painting. until then, you create.
If you’re looking for support on how to pick up the paint brush of your life, I offer 1:1 Coaching sessions on exchange base for a limited time only (give what you can): The Art of Transformation REACH OUT TO ME HERE.
Some dots I’ve connected over the past weeks and am so excited to share with you:
BIG FLAME and eternal Muse Amanda Norgaard is coming to one of my favorite hang outs / creative capsules in Berlin, the Michelberger Hotel, for a funky Kundalini Yoga masterclass + dinner party. This Saturday, 20.05.23 from 4pm.(cause having dinner with lovers and friends is a way of life by now)
A few weeks ago I answered Lisa O’Connors Q+A on who to bring into her podcast A Radiant Life and I suggested Michaela D’Artois from Inner.Eros cause I’m deeply inspired and in resonance with her work. Listen to their episode, or the one on gum health I discovered as I went into the rabbit hole of healthy teeth.
The Obvious: venusianpleasures_ connecting my two main lovers: a good book and an exquisite meal. consciously curated. mental and physical nourishment. selected with the juice of love and a pinch of ocean salt. an immersive community experience created for you to tap into the art of receiving over 6 weeks. embraced in an opening and closing dinner. Held by the pillars of our 4 online meetings (Ground / Elevate / Expand / Receive). Volume 1 of venusianpleasures_ is focusing on the topic of “Community”, accompanied by a gifted book waiting on your dinner plate or your door step.
Join us in Berlin as The Local Lover and dine with me over a 4 course menu. or come along from anywhere in the world as The Traveling Fling.
I can’t wait to dance with you. Until then, dance to this:
xoxo,
Ray
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